Want
by GrandTheftManual
Summary: Never have I wanted someone so bad as much as you. Rated M for everything.
1. IM'd

I don't own SON or anything else related. Just the storyline of this fic.

The night was a newly fresh December 8th. I glanced out of the window, taking in what was in front of me; a snowy, almost ghost town-ish, Central Philadelphia. Center City, if you want to get technical. The building across the street from my comfortable new apartment at the Gifton Lofts, flashed colors of the Christmas season. Specifically red and green. City Hall was decorated in the same tone. There was even a giant Christmas tree in the center of the historic building.  
"And in a few hours or so, we will see more snow coming through the region as another cold front moves in from Canada, so expect blizzard-like conditions in the afternoon..." The weatherman made his predicted 5-day forecast on the flat screen television that illuminated my living room. I sat in a large, black leather manager's chair, hair rolled into a sloppy bun, and wearing my over sized sweater from UCLA to keep me warm as I listened on. More snow was expected to fall within the next 15 hours. Super. The Macbook that sat in front of me was now in sleep mode. I didn't move for over twenty minutes now. I'm not used to this cold weather. Words such as blizzard, snow, and Winter, were not in vocabulary. I never grew up with a 'White Christmas'. If it ever snowed back in LA, I think Armageddon would soon be around the corner. I was in Philadelphia for...for...I wish I could say right now. Things were getting so bad at home, I had to leave. Just packed up some of my things and left. I don't know if running away was the best idea, but that's all I can do. I guess I was getting afraid. Of what? I do not know.

A Yahoo Messenger alert suddenly made a funky rhythm sound, and woke up my sleeping computer. I received a new message. It was from Kyla, a childhood friend.

KWoodPecker: Finally! You're on! How are you feeling? :0)

I met Kyla Woods back in Elementary School. She carpooled with my brothers and I when her folks were out and about doing work. Her parents were real estate agents, up and already working at the crack of dawn. Sometimes, she spent more time over my house than her own. She had no siblings, no nearby family to visit. Just her friends from up the street. Call it fate, but we became super duper BFF's after that. We both went to King High, meanwhile just a few short years later, we enrolled at UCLA together. We even became roommates. Her major was in theater, mine was in film. Kind of went well together when the time was right. She needed someone to film her act out excerpts from Shakespeare plays, and I needed someone to film. You get the picture.

Scarlin68: I don't know Ky. I don't know if I can answer that right now.  
KWoodPecker: It's alright Spence. The mother in me is worried about you. That's all. How's the apartment?  
Scarlin68: It's coming along great! Can't say that about the weather tho. It's cold, snowy, and gloomy. :( What's with the SN?  
KWoodPecker: Well it is December...Tends to snow over there a lot... And what's SN?  
Scarlin68: Smart ass, and it's Screen Name...  
KWoodPecker: Oh...haha. Should have known. Well, me and Lewis were messing around, talking about old Saturday morning cartoons. Woody was my favorite.  
Scarlin68: No pun intended?  
KWoodPecker: Huh? What pun?

I laughed out loud. She wasn't always the sharpest crayon in the box. It nearly took her ten minutes to figure out the joke, as well as respond.

KWoodPecker: OH! I get it now!  
KWoodPecker: Ewwwww ure so nasty :P  
Scarlin68: Took you long enough. And really, your screen name DOES say wood pecker so the joke still stands.  
KWoodPecker: STFU! LOL. I'm not gonna change it.  
Scarlin68: Who says I want you to? It's your name unfortunately.  
KWoodPecker: Shhh. How was the exhibit?  
Scarlin68: It was alright. Chelsea has some interesting work. Especially the Native-American headstone with an arrow through the man's head.

I sipped more of my marshmallow hot chocolate. The warm liquid soothed me instantly.

KWoodPecker: Sounds like Chelsea alright...Weird, yet controversial.  
Scarlin68: You're telling me. At least I have some nice shots. I'll send you some clips 2morro.  
KWoodPecker: Sweet :) Still don't know why you're out there tho...  
Scarlin68: Because I wanted to get away...I needed this.  
KWoodPecker: You'll be back at home soon, don't doubt that for a minute. I thought you would still be out around this time? Considering the snow and all...

I glanced at the clock on the wall that was a few feet from me. It was already after 2AM, and I was wide awake due to the time zone that was far ahead from the one I'm used to back home.

Scarlin68: The weather is bringing me down. Supposed to snow heavily within the next few hours. Don't know when it will end.  
KWoodPecker: Wow. Hope you're feeling warm!  
Scarlin68: I am now. I have hot chocolate to keep me company. Plus the wind blowing outside is calming me for some reason...  
KWoodPecker: Sounds oh so boring. Say...You're not doing anything really?  
Scarlin68: Not really. I finished unpacking some more of my clothes. Plus I finally installed the television to the wall. Nope, nothing at all. Why?  
KWoodPecker: Awesome! I feel like browsing through the chat rooms and have a little fun!  
Scarlin68: *sigh* You're not doing the perverted chat room thing again are you? =/  
KWoodPecker: No, I wasn't thinking about that. But since you put it that way...  
Scarln68: OMG...

Kyla immediately logged off. I made a low grunting sound, shook my head, and did the same. Back in our college days, Kyla and I used to roam around the adult chat rooms in Yahoo, looking for a 'good time'. And I mean, 'let's nab a sucker into video chat and watch him do freaky things' good time. She loved it more than I did. We watched all kinds of guys, all shapes and colors, doing different things. Some just sat and chat, while others put on a little show for us, some even taking it too far and beyond our control. I sipped the last of my hot chocolate and logged into a different account, the ones we used in the chat rooms. I received a message from Kyla instantly.

AmazonGoddess69:Come on Grandma! Time's a wastin!  
SpreadEagleX: Hold your damn horses!  
AmazonGoddess69: :P Do you wanna choose the room or shall I?  
SpreadEagleX: Oh by all means, you choose my Queen!  
AmazonGoddess69: Fuck you, LOL! Alrighty lemme pick...

Kyla took 5 long minutes to make her decision. She was conflicted between two rooms that caught her eye, one dedicated to BDSM, and another to Sexy Milfs. She finally went with the Milf room. And the games began. Kyla went in full throttle, spamming the main chat room with sexy messages. "Lonely milfs looking for some fun. Group video chat only!" I've seen that sentence about 30 times within the past 2 minutes. And that is just an estimate. My hot chocolate was finally finished, followed by the rest of the Bourbon I kept under my desk. If I wanted to go through this, Bourbon was definitely the answer. I felt more at ease as Kyla sorted through the tons of private messages she received.

AmazonGoddess69: OMFG! They won't stop. Gotta choose randomly :S

I laughed. There had to be over 50 people in this room. Some were talking to each other, while a small few spammed with virus filled websites. A typical night just like any other I guess. Nothing's changed since the last time I've been in this part of the forest. Kyla finally invited me into another private chat. We were then accompanied by someone named 'KingKongLong'. I snorted.

KingKongLong: Good evening ladies. How are you on this fine night? :)  
AmazonGoddess69: Evening. We're doing fine. Right Monica?  
SpreadEagleX: Right Amber. Evening...mind if I call you King?  
KingKongLong: Sure, King is fine ma'am :D

Kyla sent me a private message of 'LOL' followed by 'Alright, time to break this man down, ready when you are Monica, hehe.' I could hear Oprah talking about convicted felons turned good in the background of my atmosphere. I'll say it was kind of distracting, but it was a good distraction to say the least. Kyla went on ahead and started talking. I followed with occasional LOL's and some naughty innuendo. But Kyla was the star of the show, she always was. I was just the Andy Richter to her Conan O'Brien. Out of nowhere, I received another private message. A message from someone that completely caught me off guard.

BrownieMuncher23: I take it that you either like it standing up, or just have a fetish for strip searches. Which one is it?  
SpreadEagleX: Huh?  
BrownieMuncher23: Your name...Spread Eagle?  
SpreadEagleX: Oh. Well...both. I guess.  
BrownieMuncher23: I apologize. I shouldn't have been so...so...  
SpreadEagleX: Up front about it?  
BrownieMuncher23: Yeah. You can say that, lol. But I am sorry.  
SpreadEagleX: It's alright. I've had worse first impressions.  
BrownieMuncher23: Whew. That was a close one.

I took a short break and glanced back at the other window I had open. King Kong was now shown through his camera, his smile as bright as the sunshine out his window. His olive colored skin glowed as well, his brown eyes bounced as he spoke in his thick French accent. "Are you sure you want me to do this?" He asked. Kyla agreed, stating that it would be the highlight of her night. I didn't know what was going on at this point, so I encouraged on as well. He then smiled and stood up from his seat.

BrownieMuncher23: So where are you from?

King Kong stood in his boxer briefs, rubbing his bulge slowly. My mouth flew open. Kyla didn't just...

AmazonGoddess69: He sure is big =D  
SpreadEagleX: WTF! What did I miss?  
AmazonGoddess69: Huh? You weren't paying attention?  
SpreadEagleX: No! Someone else IM'd me.  
AmazonGoddess69: OMG Who? :D  
SpreadEagleX: Dunno yet.

I noticed a flashing red light next to her name. That meant that she was live on a camera also.

SpreadEagleX: Wait. You have your cam on too?  
AmazonGoddess69: Well...Yeah. I accidentally turned it on while readying my mic. :s  
SpreadEagleX: Hilarious. I knew you were always clumsy, but this takes the cake. Why didn't you turn it back off?  
AmazonGoddess69: Because that would be rude! Besides, he's kinda cute.

BrownieMuncher23: Hey, you there?

SpreadEagleX: I think I'm gonna skip the pay per view action for a bit. Want to talk to my other 'friend' some more. That alright?  
AmazonGoddess69: Sure, I'll tell King that you went to the store or something. Not that he would care at this point...

I watched on as King was fully naked and eyes closed, stroking and jerking his penis with long, hard strokes. I guess calling him King Kong was pretty accurate.

BrownieMuncher23: Oh don't tell me you fell asleep or something?  
SpreadEagleX: Sorry. Something caught my attention.  
BrownieMuncher23: Nice. Like what?  
SpreadEagleX: Uh...porn.  
BrownieMuncher23: Intriguing. I like you already :)  
SpreadEagleX: I'm flattered.  
BrownieMuncher23: Well you should be. So...as I asked while you were 'away', where you from?  
SpreadEagleX: Hm. I was born and raised out in LA, then moved to Philadelphia a few days ago.  
BrownieMuncher23: Is that so? What section?  
SpreadEagleX: Center City. What about you? Where are you from?  
BrownieMuncher23: Funny you asked that. I don't live too far away. I live on the waterfront near Penn's Landings.  
SpreadEagleX: Small world.  
BrownieMuncher23: Indeed :) I take it that you're loathing the weather right now?

King Kong was on the brink of no return. His body jerked as he embraced his climax, spilling his seed all over his desk and keyboard. I blinked for a few seconds before continuing to talk to my local, but mysterious neighbor.

SpreadEagleX: I am kinda. But what can I do?  
BrownieMuncher23: For one, you can learn to like it. Winter isn't that bad once you get used to it.  
SpreadEagleX: Tell that to my nerves.  
BrownieMuncher23: Ha. We have a comedian in the house folks.  
SpreadEagleX: Very funny.  
BrownieMuncher23: Yes you are. I would love to keep on chatting, unfortunately the government wants me to slave for them tomorrow. Have to get as much sleep as I can.  
SpreadEagleX: Really? What do you do?  
BrownieMuncher23: I'm one of the bartenders at Club Shampoo. Fun place they have here. You should stop by sometime. You can have a drink on me :)  
SpreadEagleX: Why thank you. I may just do that. What's your name?  
BrownieMuncher23: You're not gonna find out just yet. I'll tell you tomorrow.  
SpreadEagleX: Where's the fun in that? =( But alright, I'll be waiting tomorrow.  
BrownieMuncher23: Alright, tomorrow it is. See you then :)  
SpreadEagleX: 'Bye :)

I closed out of the chat and turned my focus back to the sexual circus that just took place. King Kong seemed to have left the chat.

SpreadEagleX: Kyla? What happened?  
AmazonGoddess69: Eh that bastard left. Never said goodbye. Just busted a nut then logged off.  
SpreadEagleX: ROFL!  
AmazonGoddess69: NOT FUNNY SPENCE! :(  
SpreadEagleX: I'm sorry, it's just...LMFAO!  
AmazonGoddess69: SHUT UP! I'm going to bed. Your mom and I are going Christmas shopping tomorrow.  
SpreadEagleX: Anything for me? :D  
AmazonGoddess69: After tonight? Hell no!  
SpreadEagleX: Awww, I'll be sure to send you a big bag of barbecue bricks.  
AmazonGoddess69: Great. We'll need it for the BBQ :) Have any plans tomorrow?  
SpreadEagleX:Not really, but I'm meeting someone at a club tomorrow.  
AmazonGoddess69: Cool. Wait, the guy you just met?  
SpreadEagleX: Yep. He's a bartender :)  
AmazonGoddess69: Well +1 cool points for you. I'm going to bed. You're in a public place, but make sure you have backup just in case. Love ya!  
SpreadEagleX: I know what to do John Walsh. Love you too. TTYL!


	2. Heartaches And Mistakes

**Happy New Years everyone!!!!!!! Hope this year will be full of great things :D **

**TYSM for the reviews. I'm really glad you guyz like it so far! *sheds a tear***

**SpongeBobPwns - HA! I used to do that a lot back then. Some reaaaaaaaly creepy people that made me scared to get on Yahoo for like a year. Good times tho. Aww stop ure making me blush! But I thank you **** :)  
ladypink5228 - Thanks! Ah, so do I. Nice weather we're having huh? LOL!**

**BTW: I really forgot to fit him in the first chapter somewhere, but Spence WAS in a relationship with Aiden until she moved. I give him some light (and I use this as loosely as possible) in this chapter, but that will be it for a while. I really don't want to, but the drama must unfold! lol. Without further adieu...Chapter 2!!**

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Sounds of high gust winds pushed against my window as my alarm clock sang an annoying tune. Aggravated, I groaned and rolled over to the edge of the bed and sat there for a few minutes. Outside looked like I was in the middle of Alaska. The snow storm had just began, and I was in the middle of it. A few snow trucks zoomed up and down the street laying rock salt onto the ground. Looked like the plows came around earlier, but by the way it was snowing, I think this was their first round of shoveling snow. I felt my nerves shake again. The temperature was about 80 degrees (More than the normal room temperature) but yet I still felt cold. Like I could feel the wind seep through my windows and freeze this room. This apartment. Maybe I'm just hallucinating with this jet lag and everything. Just maybe.

I stood and stretched my aching joints that had knotted during the night. Must have been sleeping in the fetal position again. I've been doing that a lot lately. I really don't know why. Maybe I just needed something to hold onto at night. Or someone. I chuckled at the last part as I made my way towards the bathroom and did my daily ritual. The reason I moved out here is because...well, I did it on a whim. Never really planned to move anywhere, it just sorta happened you know? I loved being out in LA. The glitz & glamor, all that shit, but it was something that hit me, something very close to home that made me breakout. Of course I'm over it now, I shouldn't be, but I am. That was one chapter in my life that needed to be put away immediately, no matter how painful it was. Kyla has been the only person I've been in contact with for the past few days. I never call anybody else. I'm not ready to face them just yet, don't know when I will be able to.

**_*Flashback - 3 weeks ago*_**

I stood inside my loft as I continued to stare at the paper in front of me, a tear streaked down my face. The letter read:

_Dear Applicant:  
Thank you for your recent application. Your request for a loan was carefully considered, and we regret  
that we are unable to approve your application at this time, for the following reasons:_

_Your Credit History: of making payments on time was not satisfactory._

_The consumer-reporting agency contacted that provided information that influenced our decision in whole  
or in part was (name, address and (toll-free) telephone number of the reporting agency.) The reporting  
agency is unable to supply specific reasons why we have denied credit to you...._

I crumpled the letter out of anger. Out of stress, and sadness. Smashed the damn thing til it nearly turned to dust in my hand. I couldn't cry. I didn't have the energy to. But my body made other plans. I started shaking, crying with each jerk I forced. Fucking credit union. This was the third letter in nine months. So I was behind a few payments, big deal. I still payed, all sixty-seven thousand dollars worth. The hard work I endured, the finances I had to cut back. Everything. And I was denied a fifty thousand dollar loan because my student loal payments were 'not satisfactory'.

I wanted to start my own filming studio. It would be small of course, but it was better than nothing. It took me nearly two months to gather a proposal for these stupid people. And boy, was it awesome. The name of my company would be Carlin Cove Studios, took me a month to decide on the name. And I would have about seven people working under me, doing all forms of film and some type of animation. That dream was shot down faster than a fighter jet flying through Afghanistan.

_"Can't you see me standing here?  
I got my back against the record machine...  
I ain't the worst that you've seen  
Can't you see what I mean?  
Might as well jump..."_

My iPhone buzzed with Van Halen's Jump. Looking at the caller ID, I did not feel like talking at the moment. It was my mom.

"Hey sweety. I called you earlier, but you didn't answer..." Her voice hung as hard as it could while she waited for my answer.  
"Sorry Mom. I was busy." My voice cracked.  
"Everything ok? What's the matter?"  
"Nothing...It's just...my loan was denied again today." I could hear the anguish on the other side of the phone. Paula had also worked hard with me, so I guess she was just as distraught as I was.  
"I'm so sorry Spencer." That was all she could say. That's all I wanted to hear. The last thing I needed was sympathy.  
"Thanks Mom. I thought this was gonna go through. Was so sure of it."  
"We all were sweety. You'll get it next time." If I was just as ambitious, I would've thought the same thing. "Are you still coming over tonight? You really don't have to, but -"  
"No, I'm coming. Aiden and I will be there. And yes, I'm sure." I heard my mom chuckle, which made me do the same. We then sent each other or loves, hugs and kisses, before hanging up. Immediately after, I got a call from Kyla.

"Spencer, Spence, **SPENCE**! Where are you?" She shouted over the phone. Her breathing was irradiate.  
"Kyla? What? What's going on?"  
"WHERE ARE YOU?"  
"At home why? Why are you shouting? Wha-"  
"Stay there. **DO NOT** go anywhere. I'll be there in ten." She hung up. The fuck was that all about?

_____

Kyla zigged and zagged her Range Rover through traffic like a professional NASCAR driver. I was getting more nervous by the second. She never said a word to me when she picked me up from my apartment. Just a low 'buckle your seat belt', and that was it.

"Kyla, please, would you slow the fuck down? And where are we going?!" I shouted. She then eased off the gas pedal and slowed down to a normal pace.  
"I'm sorry, I got ahead of myself but....something you just have to see. Something I can't find the words to say." The car was silent again. I started shaking again. What could it be? I was so scared to find out what Kyla was talking about. I was no good with surprises or abrupt discoveries.

We came to a stop in a nice looking neighborhood, middle class maybe. Kids were playing on the sidewalk as well a few driveways. Looked like there was some kind of block party going on.  
"What are you-"  
"Shhhh. Just look over........there." Kyla said, and immediately pointed to a forest green colored Saturn. A woman was placing a baby seat in the backseat of the car.  
"My parent's are friends with one of their clients that they sold a house to. Today, they invited us to their block party. I...I saw.." She stopped talking. I saw a guy come out of the same driveway the green car was in. A baby was in his arms. It was hard to tell who was who from a few hundred feet or so. I watched as he handed over the baby to the woman, then giving her a kiss afterward. That smile. I've seen that smile from somewhere before. An unsettling feeling took over me again like before, but this time, it was a thousand times worse. The guy with the family, the guy with the house, was Aiden. The car was spinning. I felt nauseated. This wasn't happening. No fucking way.

"No...What the...fuck?" I scrambled to say, but that only made me more uneasy. I fumbled with my cell phone and dialed his. Three rings later, we watched as he excused himself and walked towards the street, cell phone on ear.

"Hey babe." I held a tight grip on my phone. Rage engulfed me. "Hey, you there? Hello?" I hung up. I felt myself shaking again, the agonizing tears from earlier were back for a second round. My phone rang. Aiden had called me back. Kyla tried to take the phone from me, but I was much quicker. I accepted the call but never spoke. "Hey, you called? Sup?" I think I had an outer body experience at this point, because I don't seem to know how my lips were able to move this quick.

"Where are you?" I asked while gritting my teeth.  
"Huh? What's the matter?"  
"**WHERE IN THE FUCK ARE YOU?**" I was shouting now. Kyla was just as angry as I was. We watched his body language change. He was nervous.  
"I'm at home. I don't know-"  
"Home. Really?"  
"Yes. why are you yelling?"  
"You know exactly why I'm yelling. How long has this been going on?"  
"**WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SPENCER?!**" Now he was the one that was shouting.  
"Don't play dumb you fucking prick. We don't want your _girlfriend_ to get suspicious..." He was now looking around, looking to see if he could find us. Kyla's car had blended in perfectly with the rest of the neighborhood.  
"Spencer I....I..."  
"No, don't say a fucking word. This picture explains it all." I hung up before he nor I could say anything else. Kyla started the car, honked her horn enough times to make Aiden take notice, and she sped off towards home.

I received fifteen calls after that. Some were from Aiden, the rest were from my parents. I threw my phone out the window in frustration as we headed back to her place. My tears rushed down my face like Niagara Falls. "I should have seen this coming." I managed to say. "Should have seen this. Fucking. Coming. Did you see that shit? Fucking prick." Kyla reached over to me and patted my back. Nothing needed to be said at this point. Who would've thought that just seventeen hours later, I've managed to pack up my clothes, play Russian Roulette at LAX, and somehow booked a flight to a place I've read about in books and seen in movies. No goodbyes, nothing explained, I just upped and left town. Sounds like some shit that could be in a movie or a book. I guess that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

***End Flashback***

Snow had fallen in massive amounts in the past three hours. I spent the time looking at the people on street level shovel and salt the sidewalks, while the snow plows made their hourly rounds scanning the streets for more snow. Looked like a wet version of hell out there. I laughed at the thought. Unfortunately, I had nothing to do at the moment. The basic television stations were full of news about the storm. I've yet to get cable, so that was out of the picture right now. Nothing to do but surf on the net all day. I guess that would do.

I managed to put the finishing touches on my clips from last night. I added a few more snippets of film here and there. Things were coming along great.

_**BrownieMuncher23: I see you're still logged in. :)**_

I completely forgot to log off last night. I was so sleepy, I nearly slept at my desk. I smiled when I received the message.

_**SpreadEagleX: D'oh. Guess I forgot to log out. Silly me.**_

I wondered how easy it was to become someone you're not when it came to online chatting. It's almost like a doppelganger, almost. I wonder if I could benefit from this as well.

_**BrownieMuncher23: I see. I forgot to log off myself. See, we're even!  
SpreadEagleX: LOL! You are correct.  
BrownieMuncher23: :)  
SpreadEagleX: If you don't mind me asking, what's the deal with your screen name?**_

A few minutes went by before I got a response.

_**BrownieMuncher23: I love brownies. Last time I had some, I ate 23 squares, hence the name.  
SpreadEagleX: Kind of silly don't you think? If anything, you could be a sixteen year old boy from your end.  
BrownieMuncher23: And if I am?  
SpreadEagleX: That would be impossible. You work in a night club FFS.  
BrownieMuncher23: Ah. Someone's been listening. Surprise! I'm not a 16 yr old kid :)  
SpreadEagleX: Whoopee. Do I get a prize?**_

This was easy. Almost too easy.

_**BrownieMuncher23: Well, the club might be shut down for the night. Want to go see a movie instead?  
SpreadEagleX: As in a date?  
BrownieMuncher23: No. But if you insist...  
SpreadEagleX: Oh no, just friends then. Got it.  
BrownieMuncher23: See, now we're on the same page. Good job kid.  
SpreadEagleX: Are you always this sarcastic? lol........  
BrownieMuncher23: Sometimes...well not often. But I am a tad bit sarcastic.  
SpreadEagleX: A tad? That's pushing it.  
BrownieMuncher23: Whatever!**_

Almost ten minutes went by. None of us said a word. I was afraid of what to say next, honestly. I've never had a conversation with a stranger online for this long before. Especially in a two day radius. And to even meet them in public was risky. But something about this guy...I couldn't put my finger on it. But I knew I would not see the last of him.

_**SpreadEagleX: So do you have a name BrownieMuncher23?  
BrownieMuncher23: Indeed I do.  
SpreadEagleX: And that would be?  
BrownieMuncher23: Oh no, no. You first.  
SpreadEagleX: Why me?  
BrownieMuncher23: No reason. I'm kinda shy :(  
SpreadEagleX: A riot you are. Well, my name is Spencer.  
BrownieMuncher23: Spencer? Nice. Kinda rare for a girl huh?  
SpreadEagleX: I suppose. I'm glad tho. No one else has this name but me and a few other guys. I feel oh so lucky. Ok, your turn. :)**_

Three minutes goes by.

_**BrownieMuncher23: It's Ashley.  
SpreadEagleX: Ashley? Nice. Kinda rare for a guy huh?  
BrownieMuncher23: That would be true.**_

Another minute goes by.

_**BrownieMuncher23: If I were a guy.**_


	3. Blush

**Hey everyone! ^_^ I'm sorry for the long delay. I didn't know how I wanted the next chapter to be. So this is what I finally came up. If it's not much, I'm sorry. I do make up for it in the next chapter tho. Hope you enjoy! A special thank you to all the favs & alerters out there. You may be silent, but at least you care lol. :)**

* * *

_**BrownieMuncher23: If I were a guy**_

Not to say I was actually shocked, but I somehow felt relieved. After what went on back in LA, and after serious hours of deep thought, a relationship was the last thing I wanted. For the time being, I am fully committed to myself and my camera. And not in that way either.  
_**  
SpreadEagleX: Felt totally misled. But it's cool.  
BrownieMuncher23: Really?  
SpreadEagleX: Really :)  
BrownieMuncher23: Oh what a relief. I thought you would be mad :/  
SpreadEagleX: Nope I'm not mad.  
BrownieMuncher23: Awesome. Are we still hanging out? We need to celebrate our new found friendship!!  
SpreadEagleX: Lol! Celebrate huh?  
BrownieMuncher23: Damn right! I celebrate practically anything.  
SpreadEagleX: I wouldn't be surprised if you celebrated the opening of a tuna can.  
BrownieMuncher23: I'd celebrate the opening of the damn can period. I'm no good with a can opener. x)  
SpreadEagleX: But they have electric ones now ._.  
BrownieMuncher23: Those are twice as evil!**_

I was laughing.

_**SpreadEagleX: So you're no good with electronics? Got it. I'm surprised you're even using a computer. :P  
BrownieMuncher23: Har har har.....  
SpreadEagleX: No I'm serious! You know the Amish don't live that far outside the city right? Need a ride to the farm? XD LMFAO!!  
BrownieMuncher23: Good one Spencer. Good one ;) Must tell my caveman friends about this one later. *rolls eyes*  
SpreadEagleX: Ha ha!  
BrownieMuncher23: Say, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?  
SpreadEagleX: 27. You?  
BrownieMuncher23: 29. Have any kids?  
SpreadEagleX: No. You?  
BrownieMuncher23: Nope. If no kids, why were you in the Milf chat room last night?  
SpreadEagleX: I could ask you the same question!  
BrownieMuncher23: Touche. Lol. Moving on...**_

_**[Purposely skips to the 'date' ]**_

Ashley and I agreed to meet at the United Arts Theater Downtown at 8. It was almost time, 7:45 to be exact. I stood outside the theater wearing enough winter gear to become the Michelin Man. Over sized coat, warm gloves, earmuffs. Oh yeah, I was ready for anything. The snow had finally stopped and left the city in a gloomy overcast. The estimated snow fall fell between fifteen to twenty feet of snow, depending on where you live. Where the theater was located, the streets were halfway plowed. I had to literally climb a mountain of snow on the way here. People were hugging their chests and clinging to their coats for dear life, rubbing their hands together furiously. I sighed heavily and watched the cold air escape my mouth and blend into the night air. The wind made me shiver. This was a huge movie theater. There were nearly twelve movies showing inside. The last time I'd been out to to a movie theater was...hmm. When did The Matrix come out again? I admit, I don't get to actually go out to see some movies, I'd just wait for the DVD's. Very convenient if you think about it...

"Burning a hole through the door I see?" I heard someone say. I turned around. The woman and I stood in front of each other eye to eye. She stood in her long red trench coat, with matching gloves. Her tight jeans and snow boots were decorated with snow. And her Pikachu snow hat dangled down her smiling face.

"Something like that." I said. She shook her head and stood next to me, looking through the glass doors as well. The lobby inside was half empty.

"You know Spencer, for someone that 'hates' winter, you've haven't made an inch inside the theater yet."

"How did you know it was me?" I asked smiling.

"Eh, intuition I suppose. Plus I was watching you from across the street. Wanted to see if you were going to show up or not." She smiled.

"Spying huh? I'm flattered."

"You're welcome. Have any suggestions on what we should see?"

"No. Do you?"

"Not really. Unless you want to choose randomly?"

"That sounds cool. Random it is then." I noticed that she had a McDonald's bag in her hand. "What's with the bag?"

"I though I would pick up some food for the movie. It's better than paying thirty bucks for some popcorn." I turned around and faced her once more.

"Uh exaggerate much? I've heard of sneaking candy but a Big Mac? So new to me. That's very economical of you." I snickered. Ashley rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Whatever." She opened the door. "So, shall we enter?" Ashley motioned for me to walk in first. I did. We stopped at the ticket booth, still deciding on a movie to see. Ashley takes off her hat, and her brunette hair falls to her shoulders. Her cheeks were a flushed red color. She was very pretty.

"Welcome to United Arts. How may I help you?" The teller greeted. Ashley took off her gloves and said, "Two tickets to Avatar please." [A/N: If you haven't seen it, I won't spoil anything. I never seen it myself actually, hehe x_x] Ashley paid for the tickets with her credit card. "Enjoy the movie." The teller wished. Ashley passed me my ticket and started walking. The movie would start a little over an hour from now. We just missed the 7:15 show. We walked in silence.

I admit I was a little nervous about this whole thing. I'm sure Ashley was too. We sat in the food court, which was just as empty as the lobby. Ashley pulled out my chair. I thanked her and sat down. She sat as well, and decided to get a head start with the food in her hand. We sat in silence for a while longer. Sometime later, I gathered the nerve to speak.

"I heard it's a good movie."

"Huh?" She looked up from her double cheeseburger.

"Avatar? Said it's pretty good."

"Oh. Yeah. I hope so."

"Sorry for not asking. Do you want anything to eat?" She asked me.

"Oh, no thank you. I'm actually waiting for the movie. Get some candy, maybe a thirty dollar bag of popcorn?" We smiled.

"You are such the joker. I'm two seconds from referring you to NBC so you can sit and write witty jokes for Jay Leno all day."

"Says the sarcastic one." I pointed out. Ashley nods her head and starts eating a few fries.

"So, what do you do Spencer? What's your job title?"

"I'm a filmmaker for documentaries."

"Impressive. But why here?"

"Well," I began. "there were some things, personal things, that I needed to get away from."

"In other words, you ran away?"

"You can say that, yes."

"That seems reasonable." There was silence once more. All of this, seemed a little awkward. Once again, we sat in silence. "How many documentaries have you made so far?"

"Well, about four in a six year span. Two did great at the Sundance Festival."

"_The_ Sundance Festival?"

"Yep."

"Wow, you must be good. What are you working on now?" I sighed.

"Nothing at the moment. I'm still brainstorming."

"Bummer. I hope you figure out something soon. I would like to help in any way I can." Ashely volunteered. Her eyes smiled with her lips.

"Sure Ashley. I'd love that." I glanced at my watch. Ashley did the same. It was time for the movie to begin.

___

The theater was a big place and seated about a hundred people, but fairly empty. The back rows were completely filled with people, though. An Italian family of twelve completely dominated the last row. A couple snuggled up silently in one corner of the hall, obviously looking for privacy. The penultimate row consisted of an Indian family, including three children who would not understand head or tail of the movie, and were there simple because Indians never imagined the possibility of leaving their kids alone at home. We have quite a diverse crowd today, I thought.

They all concentrated on the little commercials and jingles playing on the screen and munched their popcorn monotonously, the children whispering to one another, and stopping abruptly after receiving angry glares from their mothers. Ashley turned her gaze to the screen, but then back at me.

"That's right you wanted popcorn."

"Oh yeah. I guess I forgot." I tried getting up, but Ashley held me back.

"No you stay here. I'll get it. I'll be back." She got up from her seat and exited the theater for now. I continued to watch the singing concession stand. The hot dog spun in a circle a billion times, before landing into a perfect split. The pop corn bucket did the swim. This was stupid but funny all at the same time. Moments later, the movie previews showed. Some seemed to be great movies, while others looked as bad as the norm. Hard to believe that people actually put up the budget to make such crap.

A few moments later, Ashley had returned with the snacks: two large sodas, a big bucket of popcorn, and some various candy. She sat next to me and handed me the popcorn and soda. I thanked her.

"No problem." She whispers and starts sipping on her soda. The movie was finally beginning.

During the first half hour of the movie, I occasionally sneaked a few peaks at Ashley, partly out of boredom, mostly out of curiosity. She had a lean attractive figure, and when the light from the screen illuminated her face in irregular flashes, I saw her dusky complexion, and high cheek bones. Ashley had a strong prosaic nose, and gentle but intense eyes, made more so by the fact that she was aware of me staring at her. And then she turned to me. Our eyes met. She held her gaze, and I did the same. My heart began to beat faster, my face beginning to feel hot. Why was I acting like this? This was all fair right? Just friends hanging out. I was afraid. I didn't know what to do. I smiled lightly and turned my attention to the movie again. Ashley continued to look at me for a few seconds longer before doing the same. I ate a fist full of popcorn and immediately drowned them with soda, following by eating a hand full of M&M's. I always ate like this when I was ultra nervous.

I reached for more popcorn when I felt Ashley's hand on mine. "Sorry." I muttered and blushed. Blushed? I blushed. Towards my new friend. A new friend that just so happened to be a woman.

"It's cool." She says and clears her throat. We sat in silence for the rest of the movie.

____

"It was so cool! UGH! The action sequences were superb. I'm glad I picked it." Ashley boasted as we exited the theater. It was now a quarter to midnight. Snow began falling.

"Does it always snow here?" I asked as I placed my earmuffs over my ears.

"No, at least not like this. Pretty lucky if you ask me." Ashley placed the Pikachu hat back on her head and smiled. "I'm really glad you came out today. You're really cool Spencer." We smiled.

"You are too Ash." We stood in our place, the light snow falling around us.

"I think I'm gonna go get some coffee at a 24 hour diner nearby. Do you wanna tag along?" I bit my lip as she gave me a sad gaze, you know, the puppy eye thing. Of course, I agreed to go.

While we were at the diner, we talked some more, got to know each other a little better. We joked around for a bit, but things got serious as the hours rolled on. Ashley was an interesting person. It seemed that she too, came here on a whim, she's originally from Springfield, Ohio. She didn't say what the dilemma was, but the expression on her face said that it was from a bad experience. Just like me. I told her everything I could about the events that happened back in LA. I've never told anyone else everything, except for Kyla. But Ashley totally understood. Like she went through something similar. When we came around to the project idea, she was stumped as well. But something dawned on her that gave her an interesting thought. My next project, would be about me.


	4. Hot!

**_Writer's block is a bitch. She really is! Sorry for the long delay ^_^ Part 2 to this chapter will be up sometime this week.  
_**

* * *

**(One week later from last chapter)**

"So...Let me get this straight." I had Kyla on speakerphone while I was setting up film equipment in my apartment. My Panasonic VariCam HD Cinema Camera was placed in the living room, adjacent to where my television was. The microphone hung from behind the couch, out of place from the shot of course. A few lighting equipment was set up around the apartment as well. Kyla continued after a long pause. "The guy you were talking with online, turned out to be a woman? And you went out with her anyway? You're not freaked out by that?"

"Yes, yes, and no. What's up with the twenty-one questions? I thought you were alright with the idea?" The monitor I was setting up for the camera was now finished, powered up and ready to go. I tested with the lighting some more, trying to get a perfect scene going in here.

"That's when 'we' thought it was a guy."

"Well you should be happy that it wasn't a guy after all. Who knows what he could've done..." That shut her up.

"Yeah, well...you're right I suppose. So, your new project. Think it will work out?" I sighed and ran my right hand through my thick hair.

"Honestly Ky, we don't know. I was aiming towards filming the doc like...like...walking in someones shoes. Like MTV's Diary."

"Awww. That's very Lifetime-ish of you!"

"_Haj se jebi, Kyla_!"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It's Slovenian for 'GO FUCK YOURSELF'!" I yelled. _**[A/N: It's good to have friends that can teach you how to curse people out in another language xD]**_

"Ok. Ouch? I was just joking smart ass. You need to loosen up." I didn't respond. I just sat on the couch and collected my thoughts on what I was going to say. For the next few days, I planned to film myself talking about recent events that happened to me, like a video diary. But where to begin, that was a mystery in itself. Ashley insisted that she come over and do an interview-like approach, but I felt that doing this alone was the best thing. Not that I'm holding anything back from her. "Spencer, I am sick and tired of being in the middle here. When are you coming home to fix things? Doesn't matter if you stay or fly back out East..." Kyla hung onto that sentence for as long as she could. I tilted my head confusingly. "Fix. Things?" I then asked.

"Yes Spence. Or have you suddenly come down with amnesia?"

"No. No. It's just that...*sigh* I just need more time to think."

"Yes! And you could do that here. No moving was necessary!"

"Listen, I don't want to do this right now Ky. We're arguing like a married couple for fucks sake."

"Sorry. Can a gal miss her soul sister?" I heard Kyla sigh on her end as well.

"I miss you too Ky. Look, I'll think about it. Maybe come past some time in January. What you think?"

"Sweet Jesus! That's all I wanted!" We laughed. After another long random conversation, I finally cut the call with a shit load of promises I'd have to keep. Coming to her New Year's Eve party was one of them.

**[40 minutes later]**

The camera was on, but no one was home. I went through seventeen takes before I took a short break. The red recording light flashed on and off, so did my thoughts. I didn't know what to start out with. Writing in a diary is one thing, but to actually say your thoughts out loud was another. This block was getting on my nerves. I got up from my seat, and went to my den to get a notepad and a pen. If I can't say it, I'll write it! But that made things worse. Even then, I didn't know what to write. Talk about a kick in the teeth.

The time neared six o'clock PM, and my stomach was growling like a tiger. Today of all days, I forgot to go food shopping. Major cool point deduction. I decided to go get take out food from a pizza shop not too far from here. I quickly buckled my snow boots, zipped my jacket and went out the door. Maybe some time in fresh air would get my mind open to new ideas. Hopefully.

The cold air still lingered, and the snow was still fresh on the ground. That is, if it didn't turn into dirty slush first. A few cars slowly drove by, followed by a city bus that wasn't carrying any passengers. I slowly walked alongside mountains upon mountains of shoveled snow on the left side of the sidewalk. As I passed, I grabbed a handful of snow and attempted to make my very first snowball. It was lumpier than I expected it (Thanks to those ever so overly-saturated holiday movies) but it was a snowball never the less. I can honestly say that this was the first time Winter has made me happy. Maybe I was finally settling in with the new city. Suddenly, the song This Is War by 30 Seconds To Mars sang from my phone. Without looking, I answered it.

"Hello?" I threw the lumpy snowball into the street.

"Spencer? Hey, it's Ashley." I smiled.

"Hey Ash. What's up"

"Nothing in particular. I just got off my shift a few minutes ago. Thought I'd check up on you with your... Hey, are you outside?" I heard her ask. I was standing at a crosswalk just two blocks away from Luigi's Pizza.

"Yeah. I've caught the whole writer's block thing, so I decided to walk around and try to think." The light was now green, and I continued walking. "That, plus I didn't go shopping today, so I'm getting some pizza."

"Cool. So you had writer's block huh? Or is that director's block? I'm getting myself confused here."

"And you're getting me confused. But I guess it's both?" I finally reached Luigi's Pizza. I could smell the fresh dough from outside. It was mouthwatering. There was a line of people waiting to order when I walked in. Guess this was a good time to decide on what to get. I went to the ATM machine and made a quick withdraw of sixty dollars. I continued the conversation as I waited for my receipt. "I know I didn't want any help, but do you think you could swing by and give me a kick in the right direction?" I heard Ashley laugh. She had a short, quiet laugh. Like if she laughed out loud, an unexpected snort would follow. But that's just from my observation.

"Sure, as long as you're bringing the food. I'll show up."

"Oh, so I'm playing hostess now?" I smiled and looked at the receipt in my hand. That smile turned into a frown. I had less than five-hundred dollars left in my bank account. How in the hell did that happen? Is it that easy to spend fifty grand in a few short weeks?

"Earth to Spencer! Can you hear me?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry." I tucked the little piece of paper in my coat pocket and waited in line to order. "What did you say?"

"What happened? You alright?"

"I'm fine. Just checked my bank account. I should be searching for a job sometime soon."

"I thought you have one?"

"I do. It's just that it's not as full-time as I want it to be. I get grant money every other year, and money from the Festival this past year is starting to dwindle."

"If you want, I could get you a job here? It gets dead during odd days, but at least the tips are great."

"Thanks. Any help could be good."

"No problem. Anything for a friend."

----------------

I came back to my apartment with a large pepperoni pizza, nuclear hot buffalo wings, a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi, and some snacks from the grocery store next to my apartment building. I took some time to set up the food in the kitchen. I took out some 'other' drinks also, in case Ashley felt the need to drink more than just soda. She would be the first person to see my apartment since I moved here. Hope she would like it. I'm hopeful. In a couple of minutes, I was finished laying out the food. The buffalo wings looked tempting, so I snuck a taste of one. Big mistake. "FUCKING HOT!" I screamed. I could feel my taste buds running for cover! I continued screaming 'OW's' and 'OOh's' like I was Michael Jackson. Running around the kitchen, I started to look for a drinking glass. When I eventually found one, I waved it under the faucet and drank cup after cup of water. After the fire died down, I took another bite. WHAT? It was good. Undeniably hot, but delicious.

There was a knock at the door. I had a feeling it would be Ashley. Couldn't be no one else anyway. Unless it was the fire marshal. Que rim shot. I wiped any remnants from the previous fiasco off my face and quickly ran to the door. I opened the door slowly. Ashley stood wearing the same red jacket she wore to the movies, but she was wearing jeans and black knee-high boots. She wore nothing on her head this time. Her curly hair covered that department. She walked in and immediately gave me a hug.

"Thanks for coming Ash." I say to her. She smiles and flags it off.

"I'm just the support." I take her jacket and slowly walk to the closet. I was watching her absorb the place. She hasn't said a word while I was hanging her coat. "Wow, this place would make Martha Stewart look like Plain Jane. You sure you're in the right profession?" I blushed.

"I'm sure. Glad you like it. I tried my best to come up with some type of theme, but I just threw it all in the air and went with what I felt." She walked from corner to corner, eying everything that she could grasp.

"Well random suits you. And this is your equipment?" She stood in front of the camera.

"Some of it. The rest is back in LA. I only asked my friends to ship me the essentials."

"You are so cool. I so want to be you when I grow up." She smiled. I poked my tongue at her. We laughed. "Sorry to keep you waiting. Ran out of cat food so I had to rush to the store for a quick refill."

"You have a cat?"

"Yep! I has cat. His name is Sam. Evil little thing. He doesn't let people get close to him. He's a scratching, biting maniac. You should totally meet him."

"I would uh, like that." I stutter. I wasn't good with cats as is. Ashley's cat sounded like he needs an exorcism quick, fast, and in a hurry. With that being said, we finally went into the kitchen and ate. Ashley immediately ran through the buffalo wings, with no signs of stopping. I flinched as she was on her fifth one.

"What?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I tried one wing and nearly tore off my mouth. How can you eat those like that?"

"Like what?" She continued eating.

"Like you're on your fifth wing. Isn't it hot?" I blinked.

"Believe me, it's fucking scorching." She took a sip of white wine that I had lying around. "But your taste buds will get used to the flavor after a while. It'll still be hot, but not as before."

"Well thank you for that interesting lesson Professor Ashley." I saluted. We laugh.

"Davies actually. Ashley Davies." She said.

"Spencer Carlin." I heard myself say. We both smiled before continuing on with dinner.


	5. Hot! Pt 2

**_The first documentary entry!! As promised, here's part 2!! I'm currently in the process of writing more fics for SON. One story is will be twisted and dark, while the other doesn't feature Spashley at all. I love Spashley as much as the next person, but I would like to see some other folks in the spotlight. Look for those entries very soon!!! OOOOOH I forgot. I'm also in the midst of asking (or spamming in my case) a mighty fine user if I could take over their story. I have yet to hear an answer tho. D: That's all the news I have for now!  


* * *

_**

**Hot Pt 2 (The Professor)**

After dinner, Ashley and I made our way to the living room, armed with booze and our gathering thoughts. I held my glass of Merlot as I powered my camera again. The sounds of machinery buzzed through the room once more, while the lights began its own ritual.

"Where should I sit?" I heard Ashley ask. She placed a hand on her hip and looked around. "Uh...Anywhere is fine." Was all I could say.

"Alright." She then sat on the left side of the sofa. "So what did you needed help with exactly?" I made a hand gesture signaling for the first take of the film, then I sat on the right side of the couch.

"I just need something to start out with. I've decided that this will be as random as random can get."

"And random suits you."

"You told me that already." I smiled. She smiles back. "Well, this is it. I'm ready whenever you are Professor."

We sat in silence for a brief moment. Unscripted material is probably the best/worst thing about this field. Figuring out what to say, and getting the scenes to sync perfectly was a bitch to gather. I remember a little Senior project I had to do in High School. I was in the cast of a short improv about a group of shoppers standing in line at a grocery store. Lets just say that I was a few cards short of a full deck.  
My comedic timing, as well as my reflexes, were shot to hell. Not only that, but I sucked as an actor. That's when I decided that I wanted to direct films, instead of being in them. And I was right. Through out college, I've gotten more merits and awards than I did back in High School. One of my favorite awards was the one I got for doing a little bit on children with Sickel Cell. The time I'd spent with those children was absolutely unforgettable. I received a very fair amount of exposure for that as well, but the experience made it all worth-while.

Ashley sipped on her wine for the last time before meeting my eyes once more. "I guess for starters you can start with a little introduction for yourself." She began. "Maybe we can move from there?"

I shrugged. It was worth the shot, better that than nothing at all. I gave a quiet chuckle then cleared my throat.

* * *

**Entry #1 - The Intro  
**

* * *

"Well my name is Spencer Carlin. I was born and raised out in LA. Moved to Philadelphia less than a month ago..." I paused. "Let's see...I have two older brothers: Glen and Clay. Clay was adopted when we all were about nine or so. My father is a guidance counselor at a Middle School, my mother is a doctor...uh...After I graduated High School, I went to UCLA for my film degree. Then I got my Bachelors Degree in Entertainment. That's about it I suppose..." Ashley must have immediately went into Oprah mode. Because after that, she was popping out questions like The Octomom was popping out babies.

"Why the move to Philadelphia? LA is the perfect place for someone like yourself..."

"Well, some things went wrong a while back. I just couldn't take it anymore. I made a trip to LAX, picked this city out of a million of them, and now I'm here."

"Things like what?" Ashley asked. I sipped my wine and continued.

"A cheating boyfriend, failing career...Take your pick." Silence. "It's just that...everything happened at the same time, you know? I didn't know how to handle it. Actually, doing this seems the only action I made towards that. I'm no quitter, but I just feel so-"

"Alone?" Ashley finished. I agreed by shaking my head. "Seems we have a lot in common." She then stated.

"How so?"

"Well," She began as she played with the glass in her hands. "I was born and raised out here. My parents are both FBI agents. They met during some drug bust in the city a few decades back. I wanted to be just like them, so after I graduated High School, I joined the Air Force. But I went AWOL a year or so later. Couldn't handle the pressure I guess. The guy I was with at the time hid his little secret family from me for five years. We 'broke up' when I was in jail."

"You went to jail?" I heard myself ask.

"Not a county jail...More like a correctional facility. Things are more smaller there. Easy to keep up with inmates."

"How long were you in for?"

"Ten years. Would have been six. Unfortunately, I was involved in lunchroom fight. People got hurt, a lot did..." She then rolled up her right shirt sleeve, and revealed a scar on her forearm. The length of it had to be about four inches. She ran a finger over its length and continued. "I was released three years ago. Came home to almost nothing."

"What did you do after that?"

"Confront my ex. Told him some things...That was it really. I really didn't care for his current situation. I only wanted to speak my peace." Our sighs were in perfect unison. Ashley sipped the last of her wine and placed the glass on the table.

"I thought that Aiden was really the one for me. We've been together for so long..." I said. Ashely raised an eyebrow.

"Is that his name?"

"Yeah. The way we spent our time with each other, people thought we were soul mates. I don't know if I will get the same exact feeling ever again."

"There's somebody out there for you, for me. Nobody should be alone at some point." Ashley pointed out.

"You think so?" I asked while placing my own glass on the table where Ashley's glass sat.

"I do. I think when people get too caught up in finding their soul mate, they loose the fun in it. It's like my Nana used to say: 'Stop looking for your keys. let your keys come to you.' Or something like that." She chuckled. "Anyway what that means is, there's no point in looking. Let the person come to you."

"Then why haven't you found your keys yet?" I then questioned.

"Honestly...I see some keys in the distance, but I'm not really sure if they belong to me yet." For a moment, I sat quietly and absorbed what just took place. Here I am - feeling the pressure of my current situation, and Ashley has been through Hell and high water going through hers. I felt selfish. The look on my face said it all.

"What do you think I should do?"

"I've learned that to succeed in the future, you must accept the past. I mean come on. You **DID** see The Lion King right?" We laughed. "But that's not for me to decide. You have to figure it out on your own."

"I know..." Almost an hour has passed since we first began. Deep inside, I didn't want this to end. "But what if...I wanted to go back to LA and take care of every piece of detail that brought me out here...You'd come with me right?"

"Like what? A bodyguard?" She then began to swing her fists in the air like she was in a boxing match with an invisible contender. This made me laugh even more.

"No silly...Like a life coach or something. I know this is a wacky idea-"

"But I like wacky ideas!" Ashley now gave a playful pout. Whimpering was next to follow.

"Yes I know that! But I feel that you're the only one that can help me with this. I know I can't pay you now, but I can give you free room and board?"

"JUST AS REWARDING!!" Ashley shouted. "WHEN DO WE GO?"

"Well, I'll be leaving to go to a party around the twenty-eighth. Think you'll be ready by then?"

"Damn that! I'll be ready by tomorrow!" Ashley then stood from her seat and shouted, "WOOOOO I'M GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!!" in the same excitement as the wannabes on American Idol. "I always wanted to say that." She then whispered. She then cleared her throat, and held out her hand. "So Miss Carlin, I will be accompanying you with your assignment. On the account that you take me around and show me every nook and cranny of the city, leave nothing out. Deal?" She sure is a handful. Playful, but a handful. After a few seconds, I stood up to meet her wicked grin.

"Only if you behave yourself. Other than that, it's a deal." We shook hands.

* * *

**The next chapter(s) will create the mood for the trip...ahem....assignment to LA. All I can say is keep your buckets near, 911 on standby, and lock your doors! It's gonna be one helluva bumpy ride. (ALL puns intended) x)**

**Thank you for all of the reviews! So far I know how to curse in Japanese, Dutch, German, as well as Slovenian, and Lithuanian!!!! LMAO! I'm learning those languages as well, so I though what the hell? Might as well aim for the stars!  
**

**ooberfan - Thanks :D I'll admit...this story will have sex, but not as much as others.  
**

**SBP - That happened to me once. They were labeled "Nuclear hot" But I thought I was cool and tried one anyway. My eyes still water whenever I think about those wings, LOL!! Ash will have A LOT to offer. You just wait and see! :P**

**queenred12 - Thank you! Their interactions are my favorite also :D  
**


	6. The Cat's Out Of The Bag

**A long time for this one right? ;) Might have a few errors here. Will edit this again when I have the chance. Happy reading! And thank you for your well trained patience! o.o**

The Cat's Out Of The Bag

* * *

Ashley and I spent a lot more time with each other since we began the documentary. I don't think I could do this with just myself anymore. It would be kinda interesting adding Ashley in as well; like two lost souls finding their way. Oscar worthy if I play my cards right. I was already set in turning this in for the next festival, which was just a mere 9 months away. Hopefully, I can get a lot more footage between now and then.

Ashley and I spent the day shopping at Pets Mart for her cat, Sam. I was nervous about meeting him. I made sure I brought along a first aid kit, just in case he went out of control. Can't be too careful right?

I helped Ash carry kitty liter, a few catnip-filled toys, as well as a new bed into her apartment. If I could choose one word that would describe this place, it would be 'breathtaking'. Her apartment looked like something straight out of a classic Hollywood movie. It was very elegant. The walls were painted black & white, and she even had the funiture to match. Ashley had no type of electronics in the living room (Or apartment from the looks of it), except for the very expensive looking stereo system that she kept near the kitchen.

"I know the colors are cliche, but I actually brought the funiture before I got the walls to be made the same way."

"It looks awesome." I say as I followed her to the kitchen.

Handing her the bag of Fresh Step kitty liter, I noticed a black cat walking around us. It must have been Sam. He meowed and sat under the table, swinging his tail from side to side. Ashley sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "You're gonna have to find another spot mister. This table is gonna be occupied in a few minutes." His yellow eyes glowed in the shadow. He looked kinda sinister; as if he was thinking of ways to have me be his next victim. He blinked, but didn't budge. That was until he started licking himself. Ashley sighed again. "Let's sit in the living room then. He's not gonna get up anytime soon." I chucked and followed Ashley as we made our way back to the living room. "Do you want anything to drink?" Ashley then asked. I sat on the suede black couch and began to melt. "I'll have what you're having." I then said.

Moments later, I was snapped out of my comfortable bliss, and was greeted with a tall glass. "You know how to make Long Island Iced Tea?" I asked. Ashley nodded her head and began drinking her glass. "Well duh! Bartender." She pointed to herself. "Remember?"

"Oh right. I'm sorry." I took a sip. Delicious.

"Eh, no worries." I heard her say. I sat my glass down and was immediately greeted by Sam once more. I jumped. Those squinting yellow eyes were mere daggers on me. I was starting to believe what Ashley said was true. This was an evil cat, and he was gonna torture me with mind numbing pain. That was until he jumped onto the couch next to me, his eyes still fixed onto mine. I was never really used to cats. I had one when I was about eight.

Unfortunately a week after we got her, she ran out the house and never came back. Mom said that Penny, the cat's name, ran out when she was hanging laundry in the back yard. We searched for Penny for weeks until we had to give up. No one knew where she was, nore did she come back home. I was upset for a while. Never really been around another cat until now. A cat that sat and continued to look at me.

"Is he always this...observant?" I asked shyly. Ashley smiled and shook her head no before sitting back in her seat.

"Not in the least. This is the most interaction I've seen him do with a person since I've got him." With that, I took my eyes off Sam and looked around the room once more. There was a poster on the wall that caught my eye. It was a semi-giant picture of one single music sheet. It had no title, but the page was overwhelmed with musical notes. Well, half of it was. Ashley saw what I was looking at and began speaking. "I started writing that a few years ago, when I was sitting in jail. It's still not finished though."

"You play an instrument?"

"Yep. Been playing the guitar for nearly fifteen years now. God I sound old." She said rationally. Right at that second, her cell phone rang. She then excused herself to go answer. This left Sam and I all alone. One carefree, ruthless cat, and one scared to death human. I wanted to leave him alone, I really did. But I've gotten the sudden urge to pet him. So I tried. While he wasn't looking, I slowly reached for his head, and losing all the fear I had in me, I started to pat his head. Nothing happened. I sighed. Guess the big bad cat exceeds my expectations.

Sam was now sitting on my left leg, eyes glued to mine again. He meowed once more, then rubbed his head against my chin. "You have got to be kidding me!" Ashley shouted. She had a shocked expression on her face. Sam was purring under me. "This is the first time...I've never seen him act like this before. Even when I got him at the animal shelter..." She was now walking in from the other room, unfolding and folding her arms. "This is insane!" She then said while pouting. I didn't know what to do. I kinda felt bad that I was the first person Sam actually played nice with since he was born. He was now laying where he once sat, curling himself into a giant black ball. He was still purring.  
Ashley released a heavy sigh and sat down next to us. She quickly rubbed the top of Sam's head before turning to her drink. "Well, if anything, at least he likes you." She then said while smiling. I actually liked the way that she smiled; how her eyes kinda twinkled with the florescent lights, how her nose wrinkles up...Oh no.

I was doing it again. I know the last time was kinda friendly, but this...I'm not so sure. I didn't feel anything, but yet I felt kinda fuzzy. You know when you were in grade school and it just so happened to be Valentine's Day, and you wait impatiently for that one boy to come over to your desk and give you a heart made of chocolate or..

"Spence, you're spacing out again." Ashley was waving her right hand in my face. "Deep in thought?" She then asked. I shook my head no.

"Just thinking about..." I paused and glanced around the room. "Do you have a television?" I heard myself ask. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Ashley chuckled quietly.

"Of course I do. It's in the back room. If you wanted to watch tv, all you had to do was ask."

"I know. I was just-"

"Waiting for the next ice age to ask me?" Ashley laughs and gets up from her seat. She then reaches for my hand. Right then and there I could have sworn her eyes went from dark brown to a seductive red, and her smile turned into a matching grin. I shivered. Biting her lip, she then said, "Come on. Let me show you." Without a second thought, I placed the now sleeping cat onto the couch, grabbed my drink, and took Ashley's hand into mine.

She gently helped me up out of my seat. I couldn't breathe. Almost. How is it that this woman was getting to me faster than a guy would after the 3rd date? I needed to check my standards. This boat was sinking, and fast. We stood at almost eye level when I got up. Her eyes were still the same dark color.

"You know, I'm kinda jealous that Sam warmed up to you like that." She started while guiding me to the other room. "But thinking about it now, I'm not surprised." We made our way past the kitchen, hands still entwined with one another. "My ex-girlfriend used to hate coming over." She then said while laughing. I quickly took a sip of the iced tea that was still in my hand. "Whenever she stepped into the apartment, Sam would let her have it! I mean, I've seen cats with tempers, but Sam just went fuckin' postal!" She laughed again. That's when it hit me. Ex-Girlfriend. The chat room. It finally made sense. Everything came together. Not that I was stunned, but wow. Just wow. I was beyond fucking speechless at this point.

Past the kitchen was a hallway that lead up to three bedrooms. The backdoor was a little closed, but I had a feeling that was Ashley's room. We walked to the room on the right. "This is my music room. A little tight, but whatever. At least I have room to move." Inside was a mini studio. There was a computer in the far right corner of the room. A keyboard sat in a corner as well. Plus, there was a silver and black Les Paul guitar that sat not too far from us.  
"That's my main man Eddie over there." She explained, pointing over to it. By this time, our hands were no longer attached. I was relieved. I didn't know how much longer I could hold onto her grasp like that.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Eddie..."

"Van Halen. I first wanted to learn to play when I seen him play Eruption when I was 9. Best concert I've been to." She stated. All I could do was nod.

Ashley led us out the door and into the room opposite of her small studio. This was her entertainment room. A big, and I mean big, flat screen television was mounted onto the wall, fixed in between two tall bookshelves. On those bookshelves were tons upon tons of albums and DVDs.

"So what do you wanna watch? Got a shit load of movies. Or how about cable?" Ashley reached over the coffee table, and grabbed a thin tablet. She then tossed it to me and flashed another smile. "You're the guest. You work the remote."

* * *

Ash and I had the tv fixed on The Weather Channel for some time now. From what I've heard, the next snow storm we were getting was gonna be huge. 'The biggest storm we've seen in 10 years' huge. Ashley, however, doubted that to an extent.

"Silly meteorolgists. They love to exaggerate. I guess it gets the ratings going." I sported a amused look on my face. "I guess so..." Came my reply.

The Philadelphia International Airport was put in standby until further notice. This was bad because we were leaving the city in under 48 hours; the same time frame in which the next storm was moving in. If we needed to leave, we'd need to do it fast. Ashley and I sat in my living room planning our exit. "So we can't take a flight out anytime soon. I don't know if Greyhound goes anywhere past Ohio. What do you think Spencer?" Me? I wouldn't know what to think.

"Dunno. You're sure we're stuck here? I'd like to get out of here in time for Christmas..." I lingered on.

"Yeah, that's like a week and a half away...Say," Ashley pondered while standing from her seat. "How about a cross-country adventure?"

"What?" I chuckled. This was something I had to hear.

"Think about it: the storm comes in a few days, who knows what will happen after that. The airports will probably be shut down for a few days after. By the time that happens, we'll be halfway through the country. We should be in California around 6 days or so. 9 if we do some sight seeing."

"Knowing you, you'd want the 9 day package. Correct?"

"You know it!" I should have known.

"So if we leave within 48 hours, we could be in LA by Christmas?" I asked. Ashley shrugged. "Maybe. If we miss Christmas, we would definately be there the day after. When should we leave?" We stared at each other for a while. I wouldn't mind driving to LA. The slower the better. I guess this could give me enough time to get my mind together.

"Tomorrow morning perhaps?"

***Next day. 7am*  
**  
"Ok. First, if we want to avoid this storm completely, we would have to drive down to North Carolina, and then work our way to Tennessee." Ashley placed a map over my coffee table and moved her fingers in her planned route. Our bags were now packed and were now sitting in Ashley's car. Sam had to stay behind with a neighbor. This was kinda hard on Ash since this is the first time she has been away from him for more than a day. She just hoped he wont kill the neighbors by the time we'd get back home.

"NC? What if it snows there too?" I asked while clutching my expresso.

"It won't. Well, it won't be as heavy. We'll be out of there in under 17 hours."

"But if it's gonna snow, won't it take longer? We'd be driving in at a slow pace remember?" She looked over at the television, before looking at the map again.

"Shit. You're right." She then said. "New plan?" I got up from my end of the couch and sat next to her.

"No need. From here to NC would take about 15 hours at 60 miles per hour." I began while pointing on the map. "Now," I began to trace my finger from Maryland and began moving it west. "I don't know about weather that much, but we already know that the storm is going to hit the East Coast 39 hours from now. If we can at least get on the main highway, which is I-98, we won't have to worry about making a thousand and one detours. Maybe we'll get 4 or 5, but we should be in the clear once we get Midwest." I stopped my finger in the middle of Tennessee. Ashley chuckled. "Are you sure you're not in the travel business?" She asked sarcastically. It was my turn to laugh.

"It's just as they're predicting: fast, but heavy. We're going to drive through it, rather than around it." I said sarcastically. Ashley rolled her eyes as she folded up the map, and placing it in her back pocket.

"So we break in a few hundred miles and take a break in Memphis?"

"You got it." I said with confidence. "I didn't know you were an Elvis fan." Ashley got up from her seat and went to turn off her tv.

"Not quite." She then said.

"So why Memphis?"

"Because." She started. "My parents are buried there."

* * *

**Sooo...Same time next week? See ya then! ^_^**


	7. Murder Was The Case That They Gave Me P1

I know it's a little late...well super late. I apoligize. But I am back for good this time. I'll have to get this story out the way and start on the sequel. I think you guys will like it :). Thanks again for the reviews, faves, and alerts! I'm glad that you all like the comedy between Ash and Spence. Believe me, you haven't seen anything yet!

imaferrari and emily1991 - I dedicate the next 2 chapters to you two :P Ashley (As well as I) wasn't being 87% honest earlier in the story. But the stop at Memphis leaves her no choice but to confess what really happened. Hopefully Spencer won't overreact! o.o Happy reading!

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Chapter 7 - Murder Was The Case That They Gave Me (Part 1)

30 hours and 43 minutes later, Ashley and I found ourselves trekking through the city known as Memphis. I never thought that we would make it to Tennessee so fast, let alone make it to the city in the first place. Despite what the reports were about the big bad storm, it turned out that on the way down here, we've only seen about 2 feet of snow. Ashley gloated when she heard the news. "See? Told you. Now we'll be expecting another bad storm next week. This is getting ridiculous." She told me.

It was my turn to drive our rented SUV after switching seats in Knoxville. I actually had to fight her to drive this next shift. She's been awake since we started the trip. Ashley claimed that she wasn't tired - Too bad the bags under her eyes told another story. So with a huff, she pouted as she climbed into the passenger's seat, pulled her yellow hat over her eyes, and immediately fell asleep.

In my days of traveling the US, I've never even thought about visiting Tennessee. Seattle, Denver, L.A., New York, Miami, and Houston had their trademark attitudes, but Memphis was different. Everyone was so...homey and friendly. It seemed that music was the blood that ran through the people's veins. You couldn't stop at a place without hearing some kind of music.

It was mostly a lot of Country and Pop around these parts, but music was music. I just hope that we don't end up stopping at a record store. I don't think I've updated my album collection since last year. Mix that with being borderline broke...well, it's not a good decision to make at the moment.

It was around 11 O'Clock AM when Ashley and I took a break at Blues City Cafe. I ordered myself some hot chocolate, and some cinnabuns. Ashley had...a few cubes of fudge brownies. Surprising? No. There had to be about 5 4x4 inch square pieces of chocolate Heaven sitting right in front of her. Ashley rubbed her hands together and picked up a square, and shoved half of it in her mouth. "Fucking starving." That's what I think I heard her say when she was chewing.

All I could do is laugh. On the way over here, Ashley told me everything about her parents. Her Father was born here in Memphis 'some hundred years ago'. Her words, not mine. While her father was still a Cadet with the local police department, he was introduced to her Mother, who was fresh out of the Navy, and wanted to be in the Secret Service. After they met, the two were inseperable ever since.

"It's hard getting used to them not being here." I heard her say as she took a bite from another brownie. "I mean, life's a bitch. Everyone knows that." A waitress came over and sat a glass full of milk next to Ashley. She noticed, and nodded. "You gals need anything else, let me know." She then said and went on her way to the next table. Ashley took a sip of her milk. I continued to sit quietly and picked at my cinnabun as Ashley kept talking.

"I just wish they had a second chance, ya' know?" She smoothed out her hair with a free hand. "If I knew shit was gonna be like this, I should've never went into the Army in the first place. I should have went to college. Became a lawyer. Not this...failure." She then said. I frowned. I grabbed for her right hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Ashley, I don't think you're a failure. Not a bit. People make stupid decisions. But that's what makes us human. We learn from those stupid decisions. We take that experience and savor it so that we don't do it again. You must be a complete failure if you get caught doing the same thing twice." I watched Ashley close her eyes and sighed deeply, like a ton of weight was lifted from her shoulders. "I know your parents have taught you well. You just made a simple mistake, for which you paid the price. There's no need to dwell on the past."  
Ashley chuckled.

"You know Spence, you can sell glasses to the blind. How come you don't follow your own advice?" I heard her ask. I shrugged. "Dunno," I began. "Insecure, naive, hard-headed. Pick your choice." We laughed together. If she only knew the true keyword I puropsley left out: denial.

We engaged in more idle chat, Ashley was now talking about her intresting yet disturbing childhood, when a middle-aged man walked up to our booth and gasped.

"Well slap me 'round and call me Daisy! Ashley, is that you?" We heard him shriek. Ash turned around and her smile went as wide as it could. "Bill? Oh my God!" She too had shrieked. Ashley had let go of my hand (We were still holding hands when he arrived) and got up from her seat and gave Bill a strong hug. He literally lifted her from the ground and spun her in a full circle.

"My Heavens!" He laughed as he placed her down. "What a sight for sore eyes! How have you been?" He said in his mild southern accent.

"Been hangin' in there. You know." Ashley said as she shrugged. Bill smiled and glanced at me.

"Where are my manners." He said and he extended his right hand and held it out to me. "I'm Bill." I stood up and shook his hand. "What might your name be pretty lady?" Ashley elbowed him in his side playfully and laughed.

"Don't pay attention to Bill. Old crooner.'" She then walked over to me and stood at my side. "Bill, this is my very best friend, Spencer Carlin. Spence, this is my Godfather Bill Westberry. He and my Father were childhood friends." I heard her say. I smiled.

"Nice to meet you Bill." I said.

"Same here Spencer. Funny little name you have there. Your folks were expecting a boy?" I heard him joke. Ashley hit him again. "I'm just joking! Jesus H." Bill was now rubbing his side.

"Actually, they were." I say in a as-a-matter-of-fact tone. "But they decided to keep the name. They thought it would be...different." Bill smiled and nodded.

"It seems to fit you Spencer." He then said. I shrugged playfully. Turning back to Ashley, Bill gave her a nudge on her shoulder. "It's good to see you again Ashley. What are you doing down here anyway?" He asked as he folded his arms. Ashley leaned against the booth and said, "Actually Spencer was headed to LA and she asked me to come with her. Trying to get out there in time for Christmas." Bill nodded.

"Well, you'll just haveta' meet everyone before you leave. Clara wanted to give you an old Christmas gift anyways. She meant to send it to you years ago, but you we're stuck inside." He lowers his voice during his last sentence. "How long are you two stayin'?"

"About a day or so." Was Ashley's reply. Bill nodded his head while scratching his salt and pepper colored beard. "Well, there's no need to waste your money on a hotel. Why don't you stay with me and the Misses for the night?" He then said.

"Sure. If that's alright with Spence." All eyes were on me. I shrugged my shoulders once more. "Sure. I'd love to stay." In a whirl, Bill clapped his hands and laughed.

"Hot damn." He said. "I gotta call Clara and tell her the news. She's making a big dinner tonight by the way. Make sure you bring ya' appetites!" Bill placed his brown trucker hat back on his head, and while walking backwards, waved to Ashley and I as he exited the shop. We waved in return.

After Bill left, Ashley took out her wallet and dropped a few dollars on the table. She chuckles. "I guess we better head out now if we want to get back in time. So," She reached for her winter coat. "What do you want to see first?"

_

For the next eight hours, Ashley and I toured every single hot spot in the city. Or at least we tried to. From the Rock 'n' Soul Museum to Graceland, we were there. We even stopped by the Beale Street Historic District. It was like...well, Christmas. I brought my trusty camera along as we stopped at different places. Ashley almost got us arrested while we were at Graceland. I still don't know how she was able to knock down a life sized mannequin of the famed Elvis. One second she was standing next to me, and the next? She's over by the wall arguing with two police officers.

Sometimes, I forget who the adult is between her and I. Aside from touring Graceland and shopping on Beale Street, which my bank account is nearly dried to the fucking bone from my spending, I'd say this has been the most fun I had in a while. Who knows what was in store while we traveled through the states. Day one was already the best day ever. Couldn't wait for the rest.

My eyes grew in a shocked awe as we neared Bill's house. Or mini mansion as I now put it. Bill and Clara lived just ten minutes outside the city. And by looking at their house, I can see why. This place was huge. Ashley said that Bill inherrited it from his Great-Grandfather when he was seventeen, and was living there ever since.

Ashley parked the car in the driveway and placed the car in park before sitting back in her seat. She seemed to look a bit...nostalgic. Either that or a bit concerned. "I haven't seen everyone in nearly twelve years..." She almost whispered. The tips of her fingernails drummed on top of the steering wheel as she looked ahead. Inside the house, there were children running freely after the next, chasing each other with various Christmas decorations.

"A lot to take in, huh?" I asked as I unlatched the seatbelt from my waist. Ashley nodded.

"It is a lot actually." She confessed. "Well, no sense of staying here." With a click, she had unbuckled her own seat belt and got out of the car slowly. I could smell peach cobbler from my spot. The smell was intoxicating. Being here reminded me of home. Sure, we were a bit dysfunctional sometimes, but when Grandma Carlin baked her homemade pumpkin pie, that would shut everyone up in an instant. I craved for a slice right about now.

A few kindergartners ran past us and into the front yard as Ashley walks up to the door, and with me just a few inches behind. Their shrieks of joy and laugher filled the air. One of the children stopped in their place and stared at the two of us. "Wha's your name?" The girl said shyly. Ashley giggled and pointed to herself. "I'm Ashley. And this is my friend Spencer." she then pointed to me. The girl nodded a few times slowly. Her curly, golden yellow hair bounced behind her with each movement.

"Cool! My name is Ashley too!" The girl then said. "My Momma said she named me after her best friend went away to the...to the..." She thought for a moment. Ashley chuckled as she lowered herself to the ground and stood at eye level with the child.

"The Army?" Ashley corrected. The girl nodded her head.

"How did you know?"

"She named you after me!" Big Ashley was now poking at Little Ashley's sides, making her laugh out loud. Looking at those two made me laugh myself. "Is your Mom in the house?"

"Yes. Everyone is here! They were talking about you all day." Another kid came up to us and tapped Little Ashley on her shoulder.

"Hurry up Ashley! I can't play freeze tag all by myself!" the boy cried out. The girl turned to him and sighed loudly. "Okay." She said with a nod. She then turned back around to Ashley and I, and waved her small hand with a big grin. "See ya' later Ashley! Bye Spencer!" We were left standing behind, waving in return. Little Ashley regrouped with her friends and began their game of freeze tag. Ashley was left chuckling to herself as she stands back up from her original spot. "Hard to believe I have a namesake." She says with a goofy grin on her face.


	8. Murder Was The Case That They Gave Me P2

**Here's part 2! I do apologize for the late update. I've written this entry about 8 times now, and I just couldn't get the moment together like I wanted. Hopefully, this will do. Enjoy!**

* * *

I introduced Spence to the whole family after we settled our bags in one of the guest rooms in the house. Of course, they were estatic to see moi, but it was good to see some familiar faces again. The men were huddled around the television in the living room, watching tapes of some classic football games. Typical. After we shared our welcomes, we went to the kitchen. Clara, my old BFF Amy, and my "sister" Bethany, were sweating in the kitchen preparing dinner. Could be an understatement tho', they had enough food for a party of 67. This was going to be epic. I helped with skinning the potatoes, while Spencer helped with the broccoli. Amy bumped one of her shoulders into mine playfully and smiled.

"It's so good to see you again. We have so much to catch up on." She then whispered in her southern accent. I nodded.

"Yeah. How's Richard?"

"Oh that bastard is just fine. Him and his mistress went snorkeling in the Bahamas for the holidays. Lousy son of a-"

"No cursing in the house!" Clara warned, interrupting Amy's little rant. Amy huffed and went back to mashing the potatoes silently. "You know I don't like usin' those words while the kids are around." Amy nodded, as if she was saying, 'Yeah, I know. But I just can't fucking help it.'

"Come on Mom, cut her some slack. Divorce is hard on people." Bethany spoke up at this point. Her green eyes stared down Clara as she and Spencer were finished with chopping the broccoli into chunks and throwing them into a boiling pot of water.

"You're just preaching to the choir, Beth." Clara looked between Amy and Beth before looking down at the roast in front of her, cutting it into thin slices. Bethany took the opportunity to change the topic. Unfortunately, it was about me.

"So Ash...You're out early..." Beth and I...well, we're like oil and water. Milk and sardines. Britany Spears and Kevin Federline. Some shit just didn't go well together. At all. Point. Blank. Period. We've had this little feud since we were kids. One minute we were playing like innocent school children, and the next we were clawing each others eyes out. I don't remember how it started exactly...I think it sparked from that Barbie doll I flushed down the toliet. Or was it when I cut her hair when she was sleeping? Eh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I gripped the potato peeler tighter in my grasp as my eyes beamed to her. She wouldn't dare to continue this conversation. She wouldn't.

"You know exactly what it means...Murderers usually get life in prison with-"

"_**Suck a dick Beth!**_"

"No chance of parole." Bitch. Always want the last say in everything. See what I mean? Now this fight would have turned physical at this point, but Clara had other plans. She slammed her fist onto the countertop, silencing us before we got any further. "Bethany Marie Westberry, you stop this foolish shit right now! Have you gone insane?" Clara hissed with a low growl. "You and Amy set the table for us. Dinner is almost ready."

"Yes ma'am." They said in unison and exited the kitchen there after. I gathered my attention back to the bowl of potatoes in front of me. I've only made mashed potatoes twice since I was twelve. Long time, I know, but I can admit that I forgot the ingredients to mix with this damn thing. I looked around the table for...something. Anything. I wasn't having much luck though.

I still couldn't believe Beth found the balls to even bring up that shit. She was always petty, but this was a new low. I'll be sure to send her ass a nice little gift this Christmas. Aside from the sound of cooking food in the background, the kitchen was rather quiet. I couldn't find the courage to look up at Spencer. I felt so fucking bad. Maybe if I had told her the whole truth back home...

"Need help?" I heard her ask casually. We looked at each other for a brief moment, smiling like two oblivious morons. Damn. One look into her eyes and I was putty. I've never seen anyone with that shade of blue eye color before in my entire life. So soothing, and yet... It was like...looking at that blue diamond from the Titanic movie. Simply breathtaking and hard to peel your eyes from.

I nodded my head furiously as I backed up from the large bowl. She had caught me mashing a bit too much. "Yeah, it's uh...been a while. Kinda forgot how this goes." I stuttered. Spencer only shrugged and reached for the pack of margarine on the other side of the table. "It figures. But it's easy." She said. I watched her carefully as she explained each step carefully; adding the margarine and milk before mashing one last time. Next came the basil. She decorated the bowl with other fancy herbs before she was finished completely. "See? Easy right?" She boasted. I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks Martha. It looks delicious." Spencer hit my shoulder playfully. "Alright. I'm sorry." Even though it was a small hit, it hurt pretty much. Maybe Spencer was heavyhanded. Or maybe I was getting a bit soft. Yeah...maybe. Spencer went to go help Beth and Amy set up the dining room table, leaving Clara and I in the kitchen alone. She turns off the stove before turning to me, sighing deeply as she rubs her hands on the towel under her. "I still have to give you your gifts later on. They're up in the attic."

"Kay'. No worries. I can wait." Silence.

"Are you and Spencer...dating?" Clara then asked. I immediately shook my head. "Nah'. We're just close friends." I said.

"Oh..." Clara sounded a bit disappointed. "Shame. You two seem to act like a couple."

"How so?"

"I've watched you look at her. It was a more loving look than a friendly one."

"How do you know it's not-"

"Lust?" She read me like a fuckin' book. "It's not lust. I know love when I see it." She then says in a faint whisper, smiling a wrinkly smile.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. But things are so complicated right now..."

"When are they never complicated?"

"Touché." I confessed.

"I guess...you never told Spencer about your jail experiences?"

"I did. Just not..._that_ part. Didn't want to scare her away, ya' know?"

"She's still around, isn't she?"

"How'd you know I didn't tell her?"

"The look on her face said enough. It really...shocked her for a moment...Before I forget..." Clara walked over to me slowly. As she approached my right side, she took off a small gold chain from around her neck. There was a silver engagement ring attached to it. She took it off the chain and handed it to me slowly. "This was your mother's engagement ring. She gave it to me the day before she died. Said to give it to you when the time was right. She wasn't a bit comfortable after you came out to all of us, but... this is a peace offering." She places the diamond ring in my palm and closes my hand tightly while holding onto it. "Make sure you take care of it."

"I will." I said, nodding only once. I never really understood what "it" meant; the ring or my closeted relationship with Spencer.

"And tell Spencer the truth. She needs to know. Everything."

"I'll try. But she's not-"

"You'll never know."

"...Okay." I whispered.

"By the way." Clara says in a matter of fact kinda way.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to visit more often, y'hear? We've missed you." She kisses my cheek before turning back to the stove. Looks like her buttermilk biscuits were ready. They smelled so fuckin' good. I had to get out of here and quick before I ate them all.

"You got it. I'll be back. I'm gonna get some fresh air." Clara nods at me as I made my way and out of the kitchen, past the crowded living room, and out the back door and into the backyard. Seems that it was recently upgraded from the last time I was here. There was a medium sized ground pool that was displayed in front me. The Autumn colored bathroom tiles twinkled underneath the the setting sun.

Over to my left was Clara's vegetable garden. Just looking at it brought back so many memories on how my parents used to visit every summer, and I got to help her with the garden. I loved the strawberry patches. They were the best in the world. Turning on my left foot, I slowly walked up to the gated area and hopped over it with ease. Clara would hate it when I did that. "You house cat, use the gate like a human next time!" she used to tell me. Of course, I would always ignore it and laugh it off.

Even though it was the Winter season, some pumpkins were visible from the front area of the garden. I never understood why she continued to grow them past their recommended season. It doesn't snow down here a lot, but when it does, it's not to be taken lightly. I wouldn't be surprised if it snows again this year. Not at all.

I sat on a marble bench between the tomatoes and green bell peppers and stared at the sky. The stars weren't visible yet, but there were just a few that managed to peek through the sunset. "What a day." I whispered. A few seconds later, I heard the garden's gate creak open slowly, and close only a moment after. "Looks beautiful out here." I heard Spencer say. I looked over at her and nod. "Yeah. Really peaceful. Especially at night." I said afterwards. She then took a seat next to me and rubbed her hands on the legs of her jeans.

"Clara said dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes. She kinda figured you would be back here." I nodded silently and looked towards the ground. I don't know why I was feeling nervous all of a sudden. I didn't know what to say at this point, but Clara was right. Spencer had to know the truth. Even if this will turn out bad.

"I'm sorry...for what happened in the kitchen." I heard myself say. "I should have told you sooner. Back at your apartment." Spencer was now looking at me with sadness in her eyes. But I wouldn't know, I was still staring at the pumpkins. "It's just that...I was so afraid of scaring you away. I just...didn't want you to know like this."

"Well," She said while crossing her legs. "Let me know. Start from the begnining." I nodded and started to speak in a hushed tone.

"Just promise me that it won't change anything between us." I told her.

"You have my word." And with that, I began my tale.

"I was sixteen when I enrolled in the Air Force. I was already graduating from High School, so my parents signed some consent forms giving me permission to start training. I was so excited to go. Even got a haircut and everything. But...I don't know. I guess I broke down at the academy. I didn't have that drive anymore, you know?" I could see Spencer nod her head from the corner of my eye.

"Of course. You were so young Ashley. To even take on that kind of responsibility at that age..."

"I know. I just couldn't take it, so I quit. I never quit at anything, and here I was, quitting the one thing that I dreamed of doing. I went AWOL, but turned myself in about a month later. They put me in jail for a few months..." I paused. "Being there was like pure fucking Hell Spence. I was scared for my damn life. Every day...I was on the edge. I thought someone was going to kill me. The people in there would do anything to make themselves feel more powerful over everyone else..."

I felt Spencer rub my right arm sympathetically. I shuddered to the touch. I felt her trace a finger over my sleeve tattoo. "734921?" She then asked. I sighed.

"My inmate number." I nearly whispered. I continued to look at her examine my arm. My tattoo was in a sleeved design, which looked to be very biblical. There was an angel sitting underneath my prison name. Under the angel, showed the name 'Heather'.

"Who is Heather?" I heard Spencer ask again.

"She was my...cellmate. Amongst other things. I wouldn't be here without her." I took in another deep breath and continued. "I was about three months into my sentence. We were in the eating area when it happened..."

"What happened?"

"There was a gang fight. The whole place went into lockdown. Everything seemed to go by so fast..." Another deep breath was heard. "Heather was in one of the gangs. When it all went down, I didn't know what to do. Alarms were too fucking loud, people were screaming and fighting. This woman ran up to me with a homemade shank. I started to panic. She tried to stab me in my stomach, but I blocked it with my forearm. Then...someone started throwing chairs around. She got hit with one of them and dropped the knife. She tried to fight me for it but I managed to get it. I finally grabbed a hold of it and...and...I stabbed her in the neck. I didn't know she was gonna die.

"I heard that Heather was killed right across the room, and I couldn't even help her." I said. I really felt like crying. I did... I was. "I was put in isolation for five months until my hearing began. I was convicted of voluntary manslaughter."

"How long did they give you?"

"They gave me fifteen to life. My parents couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. I wanted to die..." I felt Spencer move closer to me and wrapped her hand into mine. "I don't know what happened after that. My father said I became distant. I didn't even notice that my mother died from breast cancer three years later."

"I'm sorry." She whispers, stroking my hand slowly.

"My father fought tooth and nail for an appeal. And they agreed...eventually. There was new evidence being presented that day. The actual footage of the riot was on surveillance tapes. My previous charges were overruled... and were lowered to imperfect self-defense with the request to be let out of jail imediately, as well as my record being expunged. Which is still pending at the moment." I said bitterly. "I missed out on some much these past nine years. I feel so out of touch. Sometimes...I feel alone. I never really got to say goodbye to my parents. And I love my Godparents, don't get me wrong, but I don't feel that close with them...I have friends back home but it's the same thing with them too."

"What about me?" She asked softly. I chuckled as I turned and looked at Spencer. Even in the dark, I could see her eyes. The faint sound of crickets could be heard around us. And a few yard lamps buzzed on, lighting the area in the backyard. I sighed once again.

"Spence...I feel so comfortable with you. I feel like I can tell you everything. You don't judge me, critize me. You see me as a person, a label-free person. You give me so much support...You're like a...a...pushup bra." I could hear us laughing.

"I've been called a lot of things...But a bra? Nice anology though. I've never been called a bra before. Although, it's rare that I may act like a boob at times." We laughed again.

"You have a joke for everything!" I exclaimed, and kept laughing. "Everything I said is true tho'. I'm really glad to have you around Spence. You know what's funny? Promise you won't laugh."

"So I can hear something funny but can't laugh? O...kay." She said. I nodded and continued on, despite my fears of the next few minutes.

"Remember that night when we went to go see Avatar? Well...I."

"Oh God. Don't tell me...you really hated it?" Her eyes bulged in shock. I laughed and shook my head from side to side.

"No!" I said. "I didn't...I kinda pretended that it was our first date." When I didn't hear a response, I continued. "I know it's weird but-" Spencer immediately placed a finger on my lips, motioning for me to be silent. I was nervous at this point, my hands were already shaking with worry. This was the part that I dreaded. I knew I shouldn't have brought this up so quickly. Spencer took her finger from my mouth and used that same hand to stroke my cheek. She then smiled and whispered, "I felt the same way." Then, it happened. I felt Spencer's lips on mine in an instant. Those same lips that haunted my dreams since we first met, were now grazing my own. Of course, it was a closed mouth kiss, but a kiss was a kiss. We were like this for a good while, until we heard a door open from the house.

"**Girls! Time for dinner!**" Clara yelled from the back door, startling the both of us in the process. We pulled away from each other and chuckled quietly. Spencer pulled us from the bench and we walked back into the house quietly, with both of us hand in hand.

**(Next Morning)**

After Clara gave me my gifts from the attic, which were a-fucking-lot, I stuffed them in the back of the car and fought to close the trunk. I could hear Bill laughing behind me.

"You sure you want to take them with you? We'll be glad to ship them to your house." He tells me.

"Nah', I got it." I fought out the words as I slammed on the trunk before hearing the "click" if the lock. I sighed in relief. Bill reached my side and pulled me in for a hug.

"So what's ya' next stop?" He then asked me. I shrugged.

"Dunno. Maybe Vegas."

"Vegas? No cross country adventure?" We heard Spencer say. She was carrying some leftovers from the night before. I glanced at her and shrugged.

"It could wait. Besides...my car is about to implode."

After we said our goodbyes to the whole family, except for Bethany of course, we were back on the highway, making our way to Nevada. The ride so far had been pretty silent, neither one of us felt the need to say anything. Or so I thought.

"You sure you can get to Nevada in two days?" Spenc asked. I shrugged.

"Maybe. Only way to find out right?" I then said. Spencer chuckled and cleared her throat.

"I uh...had an awesome time yesterday. It had its moments, but yeah."

"I did too." I replied, smiling. Spencer continued.

"I'll admit...This is totally new to me. But...I'm willing to push forward with it...with you." She says. I blushed.

"Really?" I then asked. I heard her laugh again.

"Yeah. Really." What a sigh of relief.

"It hurt like hell to keep it to myself. I didn't know how you were going to react. Thought you would reject me." I confessed. Spencer only smiled and rubbed my shoulder for a second before her cellphone rang. With a loud huff, she held it in her hand and answered on the second ring.

"Calling to check up Kyla...A-Aiden?"


End file.
